You Gotta Be Effin' Me

First off, if you're going to be offended by profanity, stop reading now.

Ok, you've been warned.

I woke up this morning full of intent to: grade papers, plan my health unit, get my oil changed, and get my 'winter' clothes out of storage.

I woke up, showered, and was talking on the phone to April when it hit me:

I was gonna puke.

I ran to the bathroom, April still on the phone, opened the toilet and had a more incredible urge to barf.

Steven left me a little surprise in the toilet.

Yes, I barfed on my husband's shit.

Thank heavens, I wasn't really sick or anything. 

I got ready and left.

I locked myself out of my apartment without keys (to open the door and/or to my car)

And I forgot Steven's lunch.

I drove to the storage unit and forgot the combination to the effing lock.

So I drove up to Steven's work to get my oil changed.

I got my oil changed.

While my car was up on the...um...lifter thingy, they checked my tires.

I had an effing nail in my tire.

My tires might be 4 months old.

The nail was not in a good place. 

Blake, a trusted friend, was too scared to take it out.

I drove to Big-O tires and actually had some good luck. 

Jeff Anderson fixed it all and didn't charge me

But it took an hour.

Then, on the way home, some old-fart dumb-ass decided to turn.

He had no brake lights or turn signal.

I hit my breaks so flippin hard that they locked up.

I didn't hit the dumb-ass.

But Bella, who was laying in the passenger seat flew forward.

She screamed hystarically.

Her left, back leg was not 'working'.

I felt incredibly impressed to take her to the vet.

Turns out (after 2 hours) that her ligament that holds her patella in place was torn.

Her patella was just floating around. 

She has a cast on now.

She will have this for at least a week.

I have to sedate her daily so she doesn't get hyper.

All because some dumb-ass didn't use a turn signal.

Thanks, you effing bastard.

To make it worse, I had not eaten all day.

And my phone died.

I also got electrocuted trying to unplug my phone charger.

Anything else want to get effed?

suck it.