Bible Humor

Today was a perfect day at church.  Our wonderful Elders spoke of prophets and testified of Joseph Smith and the Restoration in an incredible, powerful, pierces your heart kind of way.  Then, on to Sunday School.  Reading in Kings and 2nd Chronicles, combining two lessons in one.  It was pretty good, about our leaders and good leadership.  Rehoboam, a leader, decides to make the burden of the people heavier because he is easily swayed and wants to be more forceful than his father(demanding respect and being a poop and what not).  In 2nd Chronicles 10:10, it states:

 And the young men that were brought up with him spake unto him, saying, Thus shalt thou answer the people that spake unto thee, saying, Thy father made our yoke heavy, but make thou it somewhat lighter for us; thus shalt thou say unto them, My little finger shall be thicker than my father’s loins.

I didn't get it at first.  I had to read it a coupla times (the part in bold).  I could not contain my laughter.  Although it was thousands of years ago, people still made the same jokes about schlong size.  (Thank you Emly for the word.)

Week 1

Student teaching: an enriching experience that will train me to be an effective and productive teacher, right?

Well the first week is completed.  Let us review:

I STILL cannot get to school on friggen time.  Parents at this school are insistant that it is a necessity to walk their kids in the school DAILY, therefore, I cannot find a parking space, thus, I am late daily. 

Some 5th graders (parents) choose to not help their children with their hygiene. 

Going spinning on the first day of school could end terribly like this:

Plus a swolen throat, face, tongue and sinus which turns out, you migt actually miss the second day of school.  Unfortunately for me, I was devistated to miss.  Though the joke was made by my mentor teacher that the kids only took a day to make me sick!

Don't wear new shoes as a teacher.  Your feet will feel as discomforting as wedgie.

When a child farts, during the read aloud on your first day doing it, don't laugh.  It encourages them. 

OHHH!  Don't fling lasagna all over your shirt at lunch time.  That kinda sucks.

Sometimes, the most kind, wonderful mentor teacher will totally intimidate you when you read a book to the class.  But 30 minutes goes by friggen fast. 

Don't try to curl your hair.  You will burn your cheek and look like an idiot with a hickey on your face and people might thing your husband is MMR (mildly mentally retarted) because he cant find your mouth or.....um......yeah.  

When a student brings up the contraversial painting on another school saying: 'it looks like Mexicans jumping over the border', again, don't laugh. 

MMMM, what else.  Have school spirit?

Whatever happens in the next 15 weeks will surprise me.  Literally.

Amen.

I need to...

blog.  Lots of fun things have happened and are accompanied with photos.  Soon you will see. Maybe even later tonight:)