Bible Humor

Today was a perfect day at church.  Our wonderful Elders spoke of prophets and testified of Joseph Smith and the Restoration in an incredible, powerful, pierces your heart kind of way.  Then, on to Sunday School.  Reading in Kings and 2nd Chronicles, combining two lessons in one.  It was pretty good, about our leaders and good leadership.  Rehoboam, a leader, decides to make the burden of the people heavier because he is easily swayed and wants to be more forceful than his father(demanding respect and being a poop and what not).  In 2nd Chronicles 10:10, it states:

 And the young men that were brought up with him spake unto him, saying, Thus shalt thou answer the people that spake unto thee, saying, Thy father made our yoke heavy, but make thou it somewhat lighter for us; thus shalt thou say unto them, My little finger shall be thicker than my father’s loins.

I didn't get it at first.  I had to read it a coupla times (the part in bold).  I could not contain my laughter.  Although it was thousands of years ago, people still made the same jokes about schlong size.  (Thank you Emly for the word.)

Week 1

Student teaching: an enriching experience that will train me to be an effective and productive teacher, right?

Well the first week is completed.  Let us review:

I STILL cannot get to school on friggen time.  Parents at this school are insistant that it is a necessity to walk their kids in the school DAILY, therefore, I cannot find a parking space, thus, I am late daily. 

Some 5th graders (parents) choose to not help their children with their hygiene. 

Going spinning on the first day of school could end terribly like this:

Plus a swolen throat, face, tongue and sinus which turns out, you migt actually miss the second day of school.  Unfortunately for me, I was devistated to miss.  Though the joke was made by my mentor teacher that the kids only took a day to make me sick!

Don't wear new shoes as a teacher.  Your feet will feel as discomforting as wedgie.

When a child farts, during the read aloud on your first day doing it, don't laugh.  It encourages them. 

OHHH!  Don't fling lasagna all over your shirt at lunch time.  That kinda sucks.

Sometimes, the most kind, wonderful mentor teacher will totally intimidate you when you read a book to the class.  But 30 minutes goes by friggen fast. 

Don't try to curl your hair.  You will burn your cheek and look like an idiot with a hickey on your face and people might thing your husband is MMR (mildly mentally retarted) because he cant find your mouth or.....um......yeah.  

When a student brings up the contraversial painting on another school saying: 'it looks like Mexicans jumping over the border', again, don't laugh. 

MMMM, what else.  Have school spirit?

Whatever happens in the next 15 weeks will surprise me.  Literally.

Amen.

I need to...

blog.  Lots of fun things have happened and are accompanied with photos.  Soon you will see. Maybe even later tonight:)

Mean, Rude People

I recently had a status on facebook that said that I don't like rude, mean people.  For one thing, NO ONE DOES!! And its bloody facebook.   But for some reason, certain people believe I was speaking of them.  To be particular, since its necessary to do so in order for people to not take offense: I was speaking of the stupid 18 year old who flipped me off after cutting me off while driving, the parents of children at the YMCA who allow their kids to make fun of the boy I work with who has disabilities, or the family member of mine whose friend is saying offensive, rude, mean comments about my parents (and my family member allowing it), and so forth.  So if one were to read my status, (which I deleted to NOT hurt anyone, though the intent was never to do so) it sounds like a personal problem.

4 years ago

My life changed. The way it happened was natural; Dewey entered my life. It has never been the same. Only a few weeks after he came, I woke up to a baby pug shaking. His face looked so scared. All I did was hold him and comfort him. After school that day, I took him to the vet. Dewey was diagnosed with epilepsy. I didn't care. I loved him too much to let him go. We got him medications, kept him healthy (food-wise; and yes, he was fat. But that was not until he had to start his sterioids), and gave him the best life I could. He was my parter, my best friend in life. He was there for me when I literally had NO one else.

He even sat on my head.

Thank you Dewey.  I love you forever.

Familial confusion

So my mother, sister and I ventured to Camp Verde yesterday to meet my Aunt Debbie and Grandma and drive up to Flagstaff for a bridal shower. On the way, Debbie and my mom discussed their outfits and came to the realization that they both had on shirts from Kohls, pants from Coldwater Creek and sandals with flowers.  Not to mention their identical gestures and movements.   April and I were impressed to take fotos of the similarities between my mother and Debbie:

We found confusion in which one was our mother. Seriously. They even sound the same.

Gadgets

I don't know what Debbie was up to with her lips

Going shopping is both a blessing and curse.  We got a lot of cool stuff, but I was taken away from my new husband for longer than planned.  And the wedding shower was very nice.  My cousin Christi hurt her back lifting up a dead person (she is a nurse at the hospital).  I met my cousin's new baby Desmond.  And got a bunch of new headbands.  It was fun.  Maybe in 30 years April and I (and Emily too but she's in Mwakee) will confuse the crap out of our kids.

Maybe.

Its 7:09 am...

...on June 30th, 2010.  I am already so sick and annoyed of all the status updates on facebook about how awesome Eclipse was.